Saturday, March 22, 2008


31 years ago on a Saturday evening, My wife Judy started having her first pains marking the beginning of the coming of our firstborn, Carrie. Now, of course she wasn't Carrie just yet, as a matter of fact our midwife had told us that beyond a doubt, the baby was a male. So, we were waiting for young Mark to arrive. I had even gone so far as to buy young Mark a San Diego Chargers uniform.

When the first pains came, I got out a card that I could fit in my back pocket and registered the time. You see, I had been to Lamaze classes so I was fully versed in child birth and knew exactly what a coach was suppose to do. My first job was to make her comfortable and to keep the time. We were suppose to call the mid-wife when they got down close. But the first night, they were very far apart and each time they awoke Judy, I got out my pen and paper and recorded.

That Sunday, we did our best to spend the day as we always had and as the contractions times continued to be large, we wondered how much our lives were about to be changed. We had no idea just how much this one event would change them, however. As the day drug on, Judy began to wear from the contractions interludes and we both began to worry what was holding the event up.

That evening when we went to bed, Judy went out to the couch as she said that she was more comfortable there. With the times still fairly far apart, Judy did not bother to tell me them and when I awoke on Monday morning, they were coming fairly fast. I contacted the midwife and by mid day, I was driving Judy to the hospital. Arriving in the emergency room check in area, they had me wheel Judy in in a wheel chair. She informed me that she was having another contraction so I started doing my coaching stuff and trying to keep her relaxed as I walked her through the interlude as a good coach should.

A big fellow on crutches came through and told me that he wanted by. I looked up at the big guy and said, "Could you wait a second, my wife is having a contractions.". "You need to get out of the way." he stated. "Just a second.", I returned. "I said, get out of my way!", he demanded. Now, I am a pretty easy going non violent type of guy but I had had enough. I stood up to stand my ground with this monster and prepared to fight to the death for the honor of my wife and soon to be child. Reaching back for a big swing, I was grabbed by laughing nurses and staff and told to calm down as we weren't even up stairs for the main event yet.

They whisked us off to a waiting elevator. As we arose to our floor, Judy had another contraction. I dutifully took out my card and recorded the time. The nurse started to laugh and asked me if it was our first. I wondered how she could tell.

We arrived in the prebirth area and they began to prep Judy for birth. By now, I was having pains of my own since I was so nervous that I was unable to have the needed movements of my own that one normally has and it was causing constipation pains. I was totally out of my element and my anxiety grew as fast as the excitement of the event. I prepared with my camera in hand to do my coaching job to the best of my abilities and to record this blessed event.

As the time grew close, the nurse gave me a gown, pants, hat, and face mask and told me to put them on. I pulled on the pants, put on the hat, face mask, and the gown that I tied up up the strings neatly making it look kind of like a bow tie. As I walked back into the room, the nursed let out giggles all around. "This is your first time, isn't it?", one of them said as she helped me turn my gown around to tie it up behind.

Judy was wheeled into a sterile operating type room and I watched in wonder as the midwife and nurses prepared for the end event. I can not even began to explain the feelings that went on that evening in side of my head. I was about to become a father. We were about to become a family not just a couple. My out of body experiences were brought back into the room as Judy's pain increased. I began to wonder if something was wrong. After all, I knew she was suppose to have a lot of pain but this seemed to be allot more than I expected. Judy seemed to troop through it and I remember once when she told me, "I am never getting pregnant again!". I thought, "Well, I guess we are only going to have one child."

Then it all seemed to happen at once. The midwife told Judy to push and she responded. Time after time, he told her to push. My coaching seemed to be over and I took a back seat to the new coach, the midwife. So, I watched and took pictures as the midwife pulled a purple bloody bundle from my wife's woom. Something had to be wrong. My child couldn't be purple. The nurses laughed and the midwife giggled as she placed the young baby on Judy and cut the cord. "You have a beautiful baby girl.", she stated.

Now getting married had not really changed my life much. Judy and I had done lots of things together and it was if I was doing the same things but now with a buddy with me. But this day, my life and Judy's had totally changed. No more, could we just jump in the car and take off on a whim. This little girl was now the center and purpose of our life.

I tell this story because this little baby has just turned 31 and although she still owns a piece of my heart she is all grown up and has a life of her own. She is a single mother and is doing an outstanding job teaching young Jayden, our grandson, how to be a good young man.

As a matter of fact, she has just turned into a blogger herself. You can keep up with her on her blog spot.

Carrie, I love you, sweetheart and am very proud of you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love you too!