Trinity rented a movie the other day at Redbox. The next morning I agreed to return it for her so I drove to Albertsons to do my duty and return the video.
When I arrived, I found a man about my age checking out the videos that were for rent. He had a list of movies written on a paper in his hand. He seemed confused as he looked at the movies and then back at the list. From time to time, he would place his index finger on his lips like he was trying to decide whether to rent the movie or not.
He went through the list of movies in the kiosk a couple of times, constantly checking back and forth between his list and the list on the screen. I know that he knew I was there since he kept looking back my way and then placing his body in front of me so that I could not see what he was looking at. I remember thinking how much his various reactions to things seemed to remind me of Mr Bean. For those of you who don't know who Mr. Bean is, I highly recommend you look up the TV shows that he made years ago in England. His reactions were so similar to the Bean character right down to the grunts and low voiced talking to himself. Then the unexpected happened.
Flatulation. And not the soft quite ones but the heavy loud ones. I began to wonder if I was on Candid Camera or something. I remember after one of the louder ones, that I actually chuckled. I looked around to see if anyone else had heard the gas attacks but no one was close enough to hear. I wondered what I should do. Should I stay or just come back later. Since Albertsons was so far out of the way, I decided to stay. After all, how long could he take.
After much contemplation, he finally picked a movie. I thought that I was about to get my chance when he stopped and looked at his list again and and we were back to the grunts, mutters, and more flatulation. One was so loud that I actually stood back a step or two. This couldn't last too long....could it. Back and forth between the list and the screen. Changing the screen to alphabetic he looked for that just right movie. All the while, he seemed to look back at me as if he wished I wasn't there.
Finally, after much consternation, he made his choice. I happily waited as he went to finalize his transaction. He swiped his card and it must have been a debit or something as he had to put some numbers into the screen. He raised his right elbow so that I could not see what he was typing on to the screen showing me that he must realize that I was there. He waited patiently for the videos to dispense from the machine.
With the movies in his hand, he quickly turned to leave. Seeing me, he threw his hands up in the air and almost dropped the videos pretending that he had never seen me. Then off he went, grunting and muttering as he shuffled out the door with his entertainment in his hand. I stood in awe and then looked around trying to find the hidden camera that I knew must be close by.
Seeing none, I laughed to myself as I returned the movie that Trin and I had watched the night before. I smiled to myself as I left the building and returned to my car. Would anyone believe what had just happened.
Mr Bean in real life.