A day consists of 24 hour of 60 minutes consisting of 60 seconds. And as I lay out under the stars shining down upon me, my eyes are open and the time is still, quiet, and slow. So.....I have decided to put down just a few of my thoughts so that I can go back out there and with my thoughts released, hopefully close my eyes once more and get the needed rest that my body so needs.
My thoughts were reflections of my last day. So many things happen in those short 24 hours. Both good and bad. I think it is important to reflect more on the good but sometimes the bad can grasp on you a bit.
Some of the bad, I will not or cannot talk about. There are some people that will read this that understand part of that statement. But two bad things seem to break into my thoughts.
First off, my back has become infected yet again. The scar from the previous surgery of a couple of months ago. My two surgeries that day lent to the total of 6 that I have had so far. As did my other back surgery, this one did not heal well. But this time, it became infected and I took a bit of antibiotics for that. This seemed to be healing well when all of a sudden the infection flared up again and my doctor (whom I am so much appreciative of and thankful for) has upped my prescription to a sulfur antibiotic. I asked her about the most recent biopsies and she said that she has heard nothing. Now, I know that things can be slow especially in the VA system but this might lend to it going in for a second opinion which also might mean that something might have been seen. I told her how that as she continues to find these things, it does weigh on my mind a bit and she told me she understands. I do believe that she truly cares......and does understand.
Secondly, I ran across two angry horn honking drivers today that although they were in the wrong, honked and glared at me. First at a 4 way stop. I arrived just after the car to my right and as the one to my left came across. The car on my right was split seconds after it's right and went right after he pulled out leaving me to release my clutch and accelerate as he crossed in front of me. Then, the horn of the man on my left blares as he speeds across the intersection glaring at me for what seems to be two reasons. First off, how dare I pull into that intersection in front of him and more importantly to him probably is why am I not slamming on my brakes. The funny part there was that I did slam on my brakes but anyone who has ever driven a Model A will tell you.....they don't stop on a dime. As a matter of fact, they don't stop on a yardstick either. The second time was this evening as I pulled out onto Hwy 20 from Jake's. I noticed a Suburban with a cattle guard was waiting behind me. The traffic from the east cleared so I pulled into the center section and put on my right turn signal as I waited for the traffic from the west to clear. As it did, I began to pull across and noticed out of the corner of my eye that the car behind me was pulling out from the intersection. He accelerated fast and began to go for the same lane that I was . I slammed on my brakes and took to the center once more to keep from colliding with him and as the latter driver had done, he laid on his horn and glared at me as he sped past. I smiled back at him and politely told him to keep his eyes on the road instead of staring back at me before he hit someone. Jayden giggled as I said that .
But the highlights of the day came from the good things. So many good things that like the minutes and the seconds collect into more than I can imagine. So many of them taken for granted and easily forgotten but should not be. I have written what would normally be a rather large post on the negative but as I reflect on the positive, my thoughts wane for details. Why is that?
For the good things far outweighed the bad both in amount and in affection. Maybe if I just lay down a couple of them, it might help throw my perspective to think more on them and less on those others.
I am blessed with so many friends, a great staff (for the most part), and great customers (the same). As I walk around the floor, busing tables or pouring coffee, I get to talk to many of them and in one very short span, I received so many compliments that I while I do admit warm my heart so, I am bothered that I have to reflect as I am to remember them. In one short span, I was told things like: "I have brought my friends here because they ate here the last time they were in town and this was one of the highlights of their trip." or "We drove all the way from Billings, Montana just to eat here." or "This was my first stop here since you moved and you are even better than I remember." and "Thank you for all that you do for this community. I am here supporting you because of that.". As I looked around the busy room after hearing that, I do admit that my eyes did well up a bit. I am so grateful that we are doing as well as we are in such a down economy.
I also had two different people who I did not suspect at all tell me that they read this blog. One of them (a former employee......Hi Penny!) told me that some of my posts are quite good. I chuckled at that statement because I know what she was saying. Sometimes you are inspired to write something that becomes something that is fun to read......while other times, mere information is written out which probably is harder. While I am sure all writers have similar problems, I can only do and write what comes into my head so....
Our hot tub that we purchased from one of our employees was hooked up today. As I talked with my electrician friend, Jim Vermillion, I fielded 4 to 5 calls on my phone, one after the other. Jim laughed and said, "You are on that phone quite a bit aren't you". While most of them are of business, there are some spattered amongst that also make your day. I remember catching up with my mom a bit as I drove down the road (yes, on my bluetooth) and hearing the smile in her voice that said to me that she was happy. But, my last call does weigh on my mind. I was talking to the guys down at the park to see if they needed any help. We back up the VVA of which has made me a lifetime member on their biggest fund raising event of the year. They sell hamburgers at the yearly Cruise In. I had driven my Model A in couple of times today and was quite tickled when it seem to draw just as much attention as many of those fancy primped up jobs in the show. Anyway, they did not need my help but they wanted me to know something. They knew of my struggle with the cancer and they were all behind me and want to help me file a claim on it next week. You see, in short, most all of my skin cancer has been underneath my clothes where no sun shines on much at all. I have read quite a bit about how the Navy ships sitting out in the gulf have 55 percent more Melanoma than anyone with boots on the ground. The premise is that the chemicals used flowed into the rivers and into the gulf and we sanitized it and drank it. One study seemed to show that the distillation may have enhanced the chemical. Now, no one knows the real reason.....I have always had many different types of moles but all of a sudden, many of them are changing.
I had walked out of the diner to get away from the noise as I could not hear the phone call well and when they told me of their support, I was so taken by it that I had to sit down. Just the fact that they thought so much as to even discuss my case amongst themselves as they worked but then come to a resolve that they want to help shows me just how good of friends they have all become. And even as I sit here on my computer in the middle of the night, I am taken by that gesture.
So, I guess that brings me up to why I am here instead of out there sleeping.....out there meaning on the deck in my sleeping bag laid out in the corner so that our heads can be together but our bodies laying apart, a small table by us to hold our water glasses.
Jayden asked to spend the night. He helped me pick out a sleeping bag at Walmart as I picked up my prescription.
I enjoyed my evening as I sat out on the deck reading while listening to him playing in our new hot tub. He dried off and we watched Jurassic Park III. He laughed that I did not fall asleep during it since I seemed to always do so (even during loud ones in the theater). We lay out under the stars and I listened. I listened to him telling me of his friends, telling me of his life, talking about things that excite him (presently fish and soccer), and finding every shooting star as that I did not see because I was looking the wrong way. I listened to his voice and I looked up at those stars and I thanked God......for the pleasure that I was having right then and there. My grandson, who I love so much laying there and talking away to me.....telling me all the things that a grandpa so desires to hear. But, like with so many other grandpas, my eyes soon became heavy and his voice was the last thing that I heard.....until that same voice woke me up. Jayden talks in his sleep. I lay there, once again thanking God. For my friends and my family. For the boy sleeping next to me who even though he is soon to be a middle schooler still is so very polite and caring of others. Who is so bright and creative. And who probably does not realize how much of his grandfathers heart that he has garnered and wrapped up.
Now, with all of that said and done, I will return to that spot on the deck and the hot night that we have that is perfect for sleeping out in. I will listen to the sounds around me......the distant traffic, the water as it runs through the ditch, the sounds of nature all around......but most importantly, the sound of the breathing of the boy whose head is next to mine.
Thank you God, for all of these huge blessings. Help me to remember the good.....and to suppress the not so good.